Paper & Ink

MOCKTALE: Yo yo Funny (Oops Honey) Singh!!

Dear Yo-Yo Funny (Opps Honey) Singh,

I don’t hate you. I am just not necessarily excited about your existence.

“Jo bhi maine bola wo main karke dikhaunga
Mere liye duaa karo, Grammy le aaunga
Kasam Bajrang Bali ki
Desi ghee ki boondi, sakarpare batwaaunga

Jis din, jis din
Jis din, jis din
Jis din… main Grammy le aaunga

*** Yeah, why not? As if Eminem, Tupac, Rakim or Biggie are no more in this field, this weirdo has a dream of getting this accolade in his kitty. It is high time that he comes out of his cloud-cuckoo-land and realize the reality.

***Here is a list of small/big facts that make me despise him to the core:

· All his songs contain five basic elements only: Daaru, Party, Girls, Yo-Yo and money
· Lyrically, the songs are nonsense
· He considers himself God of rap, which definitely he is not. Why? Because he is the same person who can rhyme Saani (not even sunny) with paani
· His dress sense makes a botch of the outfit as well
· His songs stink of contempt towards women
· The confidence with which he challenges other rappers
· The “swag” element in his name (yo-yo)
· The last but definitely not the least- the vulgarity of the lyrics reach out to the masses (including small kids)

Possibly 75% of the population will agree that the lyrics offered by Yo-Yo are wide off the mark. But stil, his fan following is huge! Duh!

Seriously, who adds a prefix like Yo-Yo before his name? Can we presume that he might have been a big fan of “Blazing Teens”?

To prove my point, I have some “extraordinary” lines from his hit songs:

“Ek kaam kar
Khol locker
Kadd pehe phir lock kar
Phone, rakh leya?
But bhulli ni ohda charger
Hun ek bag taiyar kar
Taiyar kar, kar na!”

I am still wondering why Sonakshi agreed to do this video song with him! His rapping is all about advising the girl how to pack her bag before eloping with Yo-Yo. And is this real rap: kar- locker-kar-charger???

“Mujhe sab pata hai kon kon mujhse sadte hain
Mere baare me vaahiyaat baatein kartein hai
Peeth piche bhonkein
Saamne mujhse darte hain
Mere aage aake phir kyun paji paji karte hai?”

Dude, if you know this then you must also be knowing why they despise you, right? With the ludicrous and senseless lyrics, he has the guts to challenge the Rap Gods like Eminem…..but definitely, he cannot get away with this. Dreaming about Grammy is like biting off more than he can chew. It will take a lot of improvisation and calm to break the back of the beast, indeed!

But this is not how everyone perceives his compositions! Where people are busy fiddling while Rome is burning, Yo-Yo is constantly adding laurels in his kitty, although they are not sufficient to take him even one step closer to Grammy.

To conclude, I have another set of lines to provoke your conscience and let realization dawn upon you (wink):

“Mere daftar daftar daftar ki girl
Karti hai ishaare aksar
Aksar, aksar, aksar, aksar
Mere daftar daftar daftar ki girl
Karti hai ishaare aksar
Aksar, aksar, aksar, aksar
Mere daftar daftar daftar ki girl
Karti hai ishaare aksar baby bas kar, bas kar
Baby bas kar, bas kar”

EXPLAINS EVERYTHING!!!

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